These are the TIPS that correspond with Higurashi no Naku Koro ni episode 25.
After ending the call with Oishi and stepping outside the phone booth, at that moment.
.........Chills ran down my spine, as I finally came to realize this.
In this darkness, I was standing in a phone booth that stood out tremendously.
There’s no way that nobody didn’t see me.
No, not that nobody didn’t see me, I was seen.
From the darkness, they steadily stared at me with their glowing eyes...
.........there was no way they were human.
An illusion? No. I already know their identity.
......They are in the true sense, the ones who control the Gosanke who rule Hinamizawa.
The level of their eyes are low, ......the vague outline I see were feeble.
......true, it is clear from past records that they are physically frail.
That silhouette which indicated their nonhuman form, was unbelievable unrealistic.
...especially the silhouette of their head was unusual, as there was something protruding, it clearly was not human.
......Their outward appearance, were detailed in one of the scrapbooks I received from Miyo-san.
......Their eyeballs were pure red like blood, ...their bodies smelled of ammonia,
......and in the past, throughout the world they were captured on several occasions, yet......all melted and disappeared, leaving no trace behind.
......what did remained, was the certainty of their “descent”.........
At that moment, that impossible unrealistic silhouette took as step closer..., gently making a real sound.
That sound was brutally realistic, and pulled me back to reality.
“D, ......don’t come closer, you monster!!”
rustle, crack, grattle rattle rattle!!
The gravel on the road, erupt, flying every where, and making a bizarre sound.
Moreover, it gradually chased after me.
......driven by my fear I once again use the same words out of my mouth.
And then this time, the glass door to the phone booth I was just in, started to rattle and shake, BANG!
and as if being struck, these monstrous sounds began.
I gave a scream which sounded like tearing silk, and darted.
And after running to the point my lungs felt like exploding, I turn around..... I notice that the jarring presence was no longer there.
............Was I mistaken.........?
There was no way I was mistaken, I definitely heard that sound which kicked up the gravel, that monstrous sound that rattled the phone booth!!
But calm down Ryuuguu Rena...!
......even if you were mistaken, right now settle down your heart.
......either way, ...eventually you will have to fight them.
...The next time they appear, strike back at them... Squash that head with your massive hatchet...! I will protect Hinamizawa, this is my duty. ...I will not allow them to do what they want... !!
scratch scratch scratch scratch... ... scratch scratch scratch scratch.
Even if I turned on the light in this hideout, the light will be reasonably obstructed by the mounds of decommissioned vehicles to seep through. ......Logically, I understood this, but taking precaution upon precaution, I did not turn on the light.
In the salience of this hideout, to not turn on a single light as I hold my breath has considerably filled me with fear.
Probably, if I did something, it would have distracted me a bit.
......but right now, the circuitry in my head has numbed, and I have not the strength to think about from hereafter.
Despite that, I did not have the courage to lie on my side to restore my vigor.
......Occasionally, when I thought I heard a suspicious sound, I’ll straighten up, strain my night’s eye and kill my breath. There was a continuous repetition of that.
Oishi believed in my Sonozaki Conspiracy.
......but, until he has some evidence of the conspiracy, he cannot take any large actions.
And that proof he needs, is most likely something that confirms there is a facility that is researching these parasites but, ......I have no clue to where that facility would be.
I would imagine the Irie Medical Clinic would seem as the most likely place, but I have no proof. I doubt even they will research in a place where I would think of.
Perhaps........., they’re re-using a bomb shelter from the war or something similar where they can place this research laboratory underground.
Come to think of it, ......within the premises of the Furude Shrine, there is a secret building that is not open to the public. I believe it was called the Saiguden.
According to Miyo-san’s research, the Furude Shrine is the central location to the Oyashiro-sama faith.
And, for one of their ceremonies that unusual festival, the Watanagashi, the Saiguden is considered to be extremely sacred, as they keep the festivity equipment there, it seems.
Indeed, the Watanagashi was a medical ritual done to create an immunity vaccine from these powerful parasites.
Therefore, the Festive tools for the Watanagashi, were medical tools then.
If that is so, the Saiguden is such a sacred place, because it is an important medical facility. .........this is suspicious.
Could it be that inside the Saiguden, there is the secret laboratory?
......ah, shit. It isn’t the Irie Medical Clinic. If they’re going to do it, it’s here. Why didn’t I think of this when I was on the phone with Oishi?!
It’ll be good if Oishi realizes this...... Should I go to the phone booth again, and tell Oishi about the Saiguden?
As soon as I thought that, I heard a car engine come closer, and further concealed myself.
There is no way a vehicle will pass by here this late at night.
A terrible premonition warped around my head several times over, causing me to tense up...
Before long, from the direction of the remnants of the Dam construction office buildings, I saw a light, perhaps from the car’s headlights.
Did the car pass by, heading toward the construction office buildings?
......but, nothing is there besides the empty prefabs.
This is not a place where someone will visit at this hour, absolutely not.
As I fix my eyes in the darkness, the car engine stops and the light disappears, in exchange two flickering beams from flashlights wiggle about.
It seems those lights went inside the prefabs.
......No doubt they were searching to see if I am hiding within them.
Until they went away, I continuously held my breath and watched.
With only the fickle lights which I see from here, I can not tell who they were.
Most likely......they are Sonozaki Henchmen.
They must have learned that I left the house, and have been searching the entire village...
...Why at the time like this, does my face itch, my legs become restless, making me feel extremely irritable? Probably staying standstill in this sweaty humidity is causing the inside of my elbow and the nape of neck to itch irresistibly.
When I scratch at them, an unbelievable loud scraping sound was made, surprising me, and I stopped.
......Normally, when scratching at bug-bites, never does it make such cruel sound!
I guess this is proof that my nerves are becoming sensitive.
...Even when I’m this far away, I am holding my breath in the darkness.
Regardless if I scratched, or even squeezed, they will not know I am here.
......Even so, I will not allow even the smallest sound, and I, for the time being, endured the itchy sensation all over my body,
......but ultimately, my body recoiled and scrape scrape, I couldn’t help furiously scratching my entire body.
When from here on out, for me who would need to continuously live this life in concealment, to be this nervous on my very first night; it is not likely I will last.
I would need to become a bit bolder, to not be moved over something as small as this.
As I think this, I force myself to relax, and without restraint, allowed myself to scratch at the nape of my neck freely, which lifted this discomfort from the sweat that stuck onto me.
Then I notice my hunger.
Now, my stomach started to growl.
...but, this is no doubt proof I feel this hunger because I have relaxed.
But if I do eat, it will get rowdy...
I decided to endure this until the men searching the offices leave.
Hurry up and leave, hurry up and leave.
If you guys leave, I can eat.
......Possibly my continual wishing held some success, as it seems those two lights stop searching the around prefabs.
......but I guess I wished too strongly.
Those lights were now continually fixed in this direction.
...Could it be that they realized I’m here?!
No. They’re walking towards this direction!
I hurried and ducked, and listen carefully through the blanket covering me.
.........Eventually, .........I feel the two’s sturdy footstep approach closer.
Since these footsteps were approaching closer without hesitation, I feared that I’ve already been found.
But, there is no way I was found...
If they knew about this place from the start, they would have not wasted their time searching the prefabs, and if they have found me, then these footsteps wouldn’t be walking as leisurely like this.
......It is just a mere coincidence they are coming this way...
Since I covered myself with a blanket, I had no idea who they were.
I had no idea where they were flashing their lights, and I could not carelessly stick my head out the window to take a peek. Until their presence disappears, I had no choice but to curl up and become like a rock.
As they arrive nearby my hideout, they stopped in their tracks. ...I heard the two talk.
「............She ain’t here.」
「I guess we should circle around. Look around there.」
As their footsteps split away from each other, I recognized that the two were patrolling around the trash mound.
......This hideout is nothing more than a remodeled inners of an abandon car.
Just by taking a glance at it, and it will look like nothing more.
...But, if they peer inside, it will be apparent that this isn’t just a regular abandon car. If they find out, I’ll be a trapped rat...
From their conversation, it is apparent that they are looking for me.
......Then, ...are they the Sonozaki Special Assault Squadron?!
If they find me, .......there is no doubt they will instantly kill me here!
And I already experienced and comprehend how well suited this place is for killing.
Moreover, I killed two people here.
If I could do so, then this should be child’s play for professional amongst professionals like them!
But, while saying that, right now, I cannot do anything.
Utterly, all I can do, was pray they will leave here.
At that moment, I heard a slight BEEP ...a refined electrical sound.
「This is Atsushi, all is well here. .......................yes. ……………The Granariiiies?!
Yes, roger that.」
「It seems Ryuuguu Rena is at the Granaries. There was an eyewitness account.」
「Hey hey... there’s just no hope. What are we going to do?」
「Either way, the boss ordered us to get her at all costs. Even if she fled to Sapporo or even Fukuoka, we have no choice but to chase after her.」
「Impossible, there’s no way we’ll find her. ......Even so, we still gotta?」
「......The boss wants Takano Miyo’s Scrapbook which is in Ryuuguu Rena’s possession. For him to make such a fuss over this, it must be something big.」
「And, what are we suppose to do?」
「We’ll leave a surveillance in front of the Ryuuguu house, and pull out from the rest. Let’s go back and grab some tea.」
Then the two’s footsteps went away until I could no longer hear them, .........and the sound of the car’s engine rang. Finally, I came out of the blanket and looked outside.
The car’s light made a U-turn, and I saw them leave.
Then eventually, even the engine’s sound melted away into the silence of the night.
I spat all the hot air that I’ve stored and stored within myself, and scratch at all the bug-bites around my body which I’ve been resisting, wiped off the sweat that stuck on me, the let out the coughs I’ve held back.
From their conversation, I most definitely heard it. There was no doubt that both of them were Sonozaki Henchmen.
......It completely coincided with the information Oishi told me.
And then they bluntly mouthed that important piece of information.
They declared they were after the 「Scrapbook」.
Until today, I only assumed the reason I was being targeted was because I received Miyo-san’s Scrapbook, it is not because I heard it from someone.
........I might have had the wrong assumption, and forced myself to think this way.
But, it blatantly came out of their mouths!
We gotta get Ryuuguu Rena. They blatantly said from their mouths, reason is because she has Takano Miyo’s Scrapbook!
And then, they also said they will leave surveillance in front of the Ryuuguu House.
......Well, that’s only natural.
If I was on the chasing end, I would most definitely guard there as well.
It’s better that I don’t make the mistake of going home.
............But, ...the matter of fact, they said something more important than any of this.
Yes, that’s............, the fact that 「Ryuuguu Rena is at the Granaries.」
Under normal circumstances, I could have laughed this off by saying they probably saw someone who just looked like me.
.........But, the reality is, the situation is no longer like that.
When Miyo-san is already dead, she was 「there」.
And when I am here, I was 「there」 at the Granaries.
.........Within the contents written in Miyo-san’s Scrapbook, ......this was the most unbelievable part.
They......, separately from the Sonozaki Family underground actions, .........were steadily coming after me...
......Already everything and anything has gone beyond my understanding of common sense.
...Should I fight or should I run, unable to decided, do I stand petrified waiting to be devoured...?
...............No way, No way...
There’s no way I’ll stand here petrified waiting to be killed and devoured.
If I can’t win then I want to run.
If I can’t run then I want to fight.
.........I will become happy, I will! I will not sit here, and have it end...!
But, ...............Miyo-san’s Scrapbook’s 「foretold」 enemy, were approaching closer to me, ready to take their bite.
If I happen to disappear at this trash mounds without anyone knowing, the me at the granaries will appear, and as if nothing has happen, will take my place sneaking into my life. ......No one will ever see through this.
Not even my father, my friends, no one will realize this, as it takes my place......
Wait, perhaps that only I haven’t just realized this......, and the people around me have already begun to be replaced......?
Yes. .........Even bio-terror that the Sonozaki Family intends to put together, is nothing more than a plan being played in the palm of their hands.
Just like the rats possessed by their members will no longer afraid of cats.
As result, the rats will no longer run even within the sight of a cat.
......That’s why when the cats eat the rats, they can transfer into the cat’s body.
......The rats were only being used by their purpose, and to further this purpose, there’s no way the rats will become afraid of cats.
That’s why the Sonozaki Family are the same.
......They may believe they are moving at their free will, ...but in reality, without knowing their purpose, they are unwittingly helping them.
That is how from ancient times, they 「parasite」. We are, after all, nothing more than a pack of rats.
Almost all of us rats are too stupid and too foolish to recognize their existence, ultimately having this misunderstanding that we live on our free will, and further their cause.
.......However, occasionally, a perceptive mouse will be born.
That perceptive mouse will learn that we are only being used, and at times unveil their existence.
......Of course, even if she unveiled this, no one will believe her so there was no problem.
Before long, the mouse who unveiled the truth will think she was mistaken, then will be swallowed and erased.
Despite this, even more rarely, ......a mouse will appear who not only realize this, but can objectivity prove this.
That is exactly who Miyo-san was.
To them, ......this rare mouse was an extremely dangerous being.
...That is why, when this mouse appeared, they become unbelievably forceful and daring, to remove this threat.
To tell you the truth..., we all know their forceful and bold methods.
......But, the stupid mice won’t believe this and will ridicule this.
......Not knowing they are being led not to believe, they ultimately help them, inadvertently.
.........They erased Miyo-san.
And then, ......switched places with her.
But, they made a mistake with the body of the real Miyo-san being found. That’s why they failed at replacing her.
...............Then, ......will the erase me, and take my place too?
Or possibly, to get close to me, .........they switched places with one of my friends?
......Even when their outside appearance are the same, ......what’s inside will be completely different, something beyond our comprehension... an irregular being.
No, .............it will appear. It already has appeared.
The day after Miyo-san’s death, it appeared.
And then tonight, I appeared at the granaries.
......they will still continue to appear.
They have already given up their guise to chase after me.
Many more, many more, ......will appear...
Then at that moment, from the slopes of the scraps, I heard the sounds of someone coming down.
I crouch down my body once again, and suspiciously observed the direction of the sound.
.............There is only one flashlight. ...There only seems to be one person.
.........Who? ......At this hour...?
Its shadow was very small, ......definitely impossible to be an adult.
Shivers ran down my body...!
The flashlight looked over here, and the footsteps approached straight forward, drawing closer. .........Unlike the guys before, these footsteps fully understood that I was hiding here.
...No, .......This has to be a coincidence.
...Let me hide one more time. I definitely can get pass this.
I was able to last time. ...Hide, Hide…!!
I covered myself with the blanket, and huddled pretending to be a rock...
But, with unbelievable certainty, the footsteps drew closer.........
And then, .........on this hideout vehicle , ......kong
......as if something was knocking.
My eyes became wide open; my entire body couldn’t restrain from the overflowing drops of cold sweat.
......Unwilling to accept the meaning behind the knocking, my mind went blank fighting with the fear.
But, the knock echoed once again.
.........I felt a light through the blanket.
...Am I, ......completely exposed by the beam of this flashlight...?!
Even so, I still was biting off the fear.
......as long as I don’t move, it won’t lay a finger on me... selfishly wishing, trying to withhold my trembling even to the slightest degree.
「...............giggle giggle giggle giggle.」
That was a blatant laugh.
......It was a voice ridiculing me, who still continued to curl thinking that I haven’t been found yet.
However, ...still I endured it. ......because, because, ...if I come out from here...!!
「......What are you afraid of? ......giggle giggle giggle giggle.」
I threw off the blanket, and faced the person behind the voice.
.........Who was, ......Rika-chan.
...This surly, ......was an impossible encounter at an impossible place.
At this late at night... for Rika-chan to appear here alone at such a place, ......was impossible!
...I instantly understood.
This Rika-chan, ......certainly looks like Rika-chan but, .........however much it completely imitated Rika-chan’s outward appearance, .........I understood that it was an entirely different entity.
Miyo-san, me, ......and now, even Rika-chan... I see...
But before I was crushed by fear, slightly mustering a bit of courage, I daringly opened my mouth.
「......Mi~ ...Who else could I appear to be?」
Rika-chan responded the way the Rika-chan I knew well did.
......but, this is impossible. To visit at this time, at this place, was absolutely impossible...!!
「..........I know ............You’re not Rika-chan, are you?」
「......Unfortunately, you will not deceive my eyes. Even if you look like Rika-chan, ...you are not Rika-chan. You are not my friend, Furude Rika. ......Who are you...?!」
Rika, for the time being, stood there blankly.
...It was as if she couldn’t comprehend what I said.
But, ......that silence, was long.
If she really didn’t understand, enough time has passed for her to break this awkward silence, ......yet she remained mute.
Then, ............finally, ...she threw off her sheep’s skin.
「......giggle, ......giggle giggle giggle giggle giggle.」
.........To notice that it wasn’t Rika from its absolute disguise of her outward appearance, it laughed at that amusingly.
「...............Who, .........are you!!」
Without responding to my question, ......it, for the moment, continued to laugh on by itself.
And then, ......looking at me, ......with these eyes Rika-chan will never show, peered at me and said.
「I have lived a long time in this world but .........this is the first that someone has noticed that I am not Rika. I’ve always thought you were a perceptive one ever since we first met, but......... well done. giggle giggle giggle...」
......It blatantly put to words what my heart feared the most..., I believed it was certain that I was shocked.
What was said was frightful; There was no way to misinterpreted what was said, ...as if any doubt need to be left written out, ...it deliberately mouthed these words.
「But I will dare to call myself Rika. .........I, do believe that my given name is Rika, as it’s been so long.」
「......huh......... ...by long, .........how long.........?」
「Nothing spectacular. Only about 100 years or so.」
「.........ha, .........huh?! What are you saying!!!」
I felt the contradiction. Knowing that the one before my eyes is not Rika, I was refuting the existence of that very being.
......As long as this sentiment continues to embedded in the human mind, ...people never acknowledge what they don’t understand forever.
...That is why, 「they」 are never acknowledged by humanity.
「You do not need to be afraid. You are inside the car. I am outside. ......Respectively, neither one of us can do anything rash to the other. I believe that this is a convenient distance for us both, no? However hundreds of years I may have lived, Furude Rika is merely just a small child. I do not believe I can overwhelm you by force. .........Rather, I am the one uneasy that you might frenzy and jump at me.」
......To me, this being that looked like Rika was nothing more than eerie, however, when I realized that it only came to converse, my mental stability settled a little.
But, .........at this late night, at this impossible place, ...what did it want to talk about?
I am sure, I was a cooked goose. ......therefore, now I had no choice but to bravely stand this ground.
After waiting to see how I will react, ...it opened its mouth.
「............You are afraid of something. .........Am I correct?」
What a sarcastic way of putting it.
......With Rika-chan’s adorable face, I could not believe it can smirk in such a twisted fashion.
That’s why, I crushed all the emerging feelings of fear in my heart, and firmly responded.
「.........Yes. Why, thank you.」
「I see. ..............What are you afraid of?」
「......You......know that well enough!!」
It said, we were mutually protected from each other, divided by the car but.
It was evident that I was obviously cornered.
......While I stayed in here talking to it, its henchmen could be encircling me. ...As I realize this, I listened more carefully to my surroundings...
「Don’t be afraid. I came here to save you. ...giggle giggle giggle.」
「Save...? ha, huh......How would you do that...?」
「You are, ...just a little sick. With a small bit of medicine you’ll feel better. .........Would you be interested if I said I brought that medicine?」
That thing, who looked identical to Rika, ...fumbled around its pockets, and took out a small case.
Clicking the case open, I peered to see what was inside.
......When I saw what was inside, I, couldn’t help screaming.
No person would be walking around with a syringe. Already everything and anything has become absurd.
......but, in Rika-chan’s hand there was a syringe. There was no other way to look at this...!
「Yes. This shot will make you feel better.」
「Feel better, you say?! HA!! I know. It’s that, isn’t it?! The drug that killed Tomitake-san!! The parasites that have that primal power!! The terrible shot that will renew Maggot Breakout Syndrome!!」
「The shot that Tomitake had, huh? But this is different. Okay?」
That laughter wasn’t what was scary.
......What was scary is that it frankly acknowledged the truth behind Tomitake-san’s death!!
And, it frankly acknowledged the direct 「cause」to why Tomitake-san was led to Maggot Breakout Syndrome!!
「.........You also plan for me to die that way, don’t you! And then, ......the Rena that appeared at the Granaries will switch places with me settling everything... ...That’s your ulterior motive, isn’t it?! Who will take that shot!!」
「..................well, I thought you will refuse. It’s definitely suspicious.」
「You know, don’t you...... ...Then what are you going to do?! ...Are you going to attack me in a group and forcefully give me the shot, like you did with Tomitake-san?!」
The result of Tomitake-san’s autopsy was before he met his critical end, it was apparent that he was fending off several opponents according to the bruise marks on him.
...Meaning, there was no mistake that the shot was forced on him unwillingly.
「......I would like to assault you and give you the shot, ...but I’ve never done it successfully. That’s why I’ve given up doing so forcefully. ......So, I will leave it up to your free will. 」
「You got to be kidding!! Who will take such a creepy shot!!」
「.........I also was troubled by that. How I can humor you to take this shot. It’s impossible to give it to you forcefully, and you’ll won’t understand either. ... Ultimately then, I have no other choice but to leave the decision to you.」
「There’s no way I will listen to that!! Who will fall for such an obvious trick!!」
「..................well, you reacted the way I anticipated. Not that I expected anything.」
It gave out a long sigh, making a belittling gesture as it proceeded with a bitter smile.
......As if saying... I gave you this chance to be save, can’t comprehend that you low life...!
I wanted to retort back giving in to the taunt, yelling out I’ll take that shot, but that is exactly what my adversary would want me to do.
「Hurry up and go home to your friends, and tell them you failed to give me the shot!! I will not lose! I will thoroughly resist to the end!! And then......I will take hold of that less than 1% chance of victory, and make sure that I will destroy you all!!」
「............I see. ..............Then give it your best shot. It’s a doomed world anyway. ...giggle giggle giggle giggle.」
「It has nothing to do with you. It does no good for the frog inside the well to hold any interest to what is outside the well, right? giggle giggle giggle.」
Coming along this far, what deep words it hurled...
I tried desperately to comprehend what this terrifying entity who mimicked Rika’s appearance was running its mouth with.
「...Wha, ...What do you plan to do with me!!」
「I will do nothing. Do as you wish.」
...That response took me a bit off guard.
...As far as I know, the words do as you wish, have the meaning of liberation or indifference, even if used by a person of evil intent, these were not words of malicious meaning.
Or......, could this be taken in an entirely different way...?
Reading deeply into words two and three folds, it said these words once more.
「Live as you wish. ......I have no more interest with “this” Ryuuguu Rena. I will hope that things will go better with the “next” Ryuuguu Rena.
......at the very least, I will pray the “next” Ryuuguu Rena will not be as particularly perceptive. ...giggle giggle giggle giggle.」
That was... as terrifying as a judge sentencing a death penalty.
「Before, I also ran about trying to fix every slight disparity as it occurred. ......but after a while, I became tired of it. .........I have no more interest in “this” Hinamizawa. I’ll go look for the “next” Hinamizawa. ...but, you only have “this” Hinamizawa. That’s why, you should do your best to live. 」
I understood that one after another horrifying words were being said.
It was a blunt forecast of doom, ......a revelation that a terrible end is closing in on reality...
Already another one of me has been prepared.
And then......When I disappear being swallowed by this maelstrom of Fate that I can not contest, ...it, unsympathetically, was prepared to have everything replaced.
What people feared the most, is losing their meaning to their life.
.........When someone says even if you’re gone there will be someone to replace you, there is no moment where worthlessness of one’s life is felt more.
That is no different to an indirect death sentence!
The thing that looked like Rika, clamped the syringe case shut, and placed the case in its pocket.
Then it turned its heels, and started climbing up the slope of the scrap mound.
Then, twirled around for one last time, ......with a devilish smile, ...said with an unbelievably cold expression.
「Well then. ......Good bye, “this” Ryuuguu Rena. ......With the “next” Ryuuguu Rena, let’s be friends, ok?
......for the most part we normally will. .........giggle giggle giggle giggle! 」
「Th, .........There will not be a “next”Ryuuguu Rena!! I am who I am, I am the only one!! I will not let this go your way! Never, NEVER!!」
Did my shouts that were more like screams reach her?
......The way her eyes looked at me were very cold. ......It was as if, I was nothing more then a reflection of a past image on a CRT screen.
「Having conversations like this, occasionally, is quite amusing, huh. giggle giggle giggle......, Ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha ha, ...Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......... 」
That laughter eventually faded into the darkness of the night.
.........The being which had Rika’s appearance, but was not Rika, also disappeared swallowed by the darkness.
All that remained was, ......I, alone.
Cast off, indifferent to whenever I disappear,
Abandoned, telling me to futilely resist all I wish, I am here.
A spare has already been prepared, and because I was too perceptive, I am of no use in 「their」 Hinamizawa.
.........Then I noticed that, ......these trash mounds, ...was unquestionably a gravestone prepared especially for me.
I returned to my senses, and came to the realization that this place, nor this hideout, was serving their purpose.
It’s better that I gather my belongings and hurry off to a different place.
They told me to resist all I wish. ...I will do that, damn it damn it...!!
I need to prepare for my move.
Stuffing all my belongings in my knapsack, I need to hurry and leave this place.
Since the flashlight’s beam is too small, I turn on my night stand.
The world of light and darkness distinctively emerged with the newly created shadows.
Then when I went to reeled in my knapsack, ...I was startled.
The palm of my hands, ......were drenched in this icky pure red liquid.
In the darkness, I thought I was just wiping off sticky icky sweat.
......but, that......wasn’t sweat at all......
Then this blood is......what?
I suddenly came to realization.
Just until now, I was scratching and scratching at the bug-bites on my neck, ...and before I knew it, I was pouring out with blood.
The moment I realized that, the affected parts that I peeled off became mixed in with the feeling of pain, and there I was suddenly groaning.
...From the wounds on my neck, I felt the unpleasant feeling of something creeping and squirming, and I once again scratched at my neck trying to dig out that something.
And again my hands were drenched with the thick coat of fresh pure red blood.
......There was no mirror in here so I cannot see but, ......I remembered, I already knew the meaning of squirming.
They steadily spread throughout my entire body, then the inside of my elbows and the back of my knees began to itch terribly.
......If a person was to experience this for the first time, they would think they were bitten by a bad bug.
...but fortunately, ...I already knew this itching.
I detestably mumbled. ......how, right now, here......!
There’s no mistake, ......this is the 「Maggot Outbreak Syndrome 」.
Almost certainly, if I open the blood vessel in my arm with a razor, from inside the vessel, those dirty and disgusting, red-black squirmy things will gush out.
How can that be, I never was injected by that suspicious shot...?!
But, there never was a rule that this had to come from a shot.
...Could it be......that I haven’t noticed I was poisoned...!?
I doubt it was mixed in the food I ate at my house, but when I was at school, my friends and I were close enough to share lunches ......Maybe it was mixed in at that time...!
That Rika-copy which just came by, ......shined her flashlight on me.
So, she must have known that I tore the skin on my neck and was bloodstained. ...regardless, it didn’t panic, ......and said that I didn’t have much longer anyways.
......ah, ......It, ......knew that I didn’t have much longer so........it was smirking and laughing so repulsively...!!
It’s very itchy, but don’t scratch it. The more I scratch, the itching will increase,
...and in the end I will repeat the same mistake as Tomitake-san! Shit, shit shit...!!
Keiichi: "It's...about the time before I moved here. Back then...my only skill was studying.
I learned tips and tricks on the game called studying. My grades went up very quickly. At that time, I had this idiotic ambition to study harder so I can look down upon other students.
My parents and my teacher both praised me as my grades went up. It felt really great.
I began to saw how little and cheap those jock kids were that took pride in excelling how fast they could run the 50 meters or how well they can swim. The sensation of looking down on them was exciting so I studied even harder.
By then, my grades were not only the top of the class, but began to scratch the top of my entire school. Hence, I began megalomaniac-ally feel that I was the most important guy in the entire school.
I was this dull and idiotic guy that would mock on the rest of the kids playing in the school yard as I sneered down at the from the window.
...As my grades went up, adults around me also began to expect more from me. They suddenly began to set my future by urging me to get into a very prestigious school. I was also self-conceited that going to that school was a given for a person of my intelligence.
But...the sensation of looking down on them began to fade away in contrast to the amount of studying that increased.
People around me also began to treat me less praise. My classmates quickly began to lose interest in my grades as a nuisance, while my teacher began to put more pressure on me to study harder. I basically began to lose the enjoyment of studying.
Besides, I didn't like studying at all in the first place.
I was just this normal brat with less-than-average athletic skills and mediocre fighting skills, who suddenly jumped on my newly found gift in which I could say I was better than anyone else. It just so happened that the gift was studying; if the gift was being able to ride a unicycle or cup-and-ball toy, I would've tried hard in excelling at them just the same as I did with studying.
Once I reached that feeling, I suddenly lost the interest in studying all together.
That's right. I was just a spoiled dickhead who wanted to be praised by everyone for being able to do something better than anyone else. ...Hence, I did all of my summer homework on time and I volunteered to help cleanup after school just so I can get praise from the teachers.
So once the teachers stopped praising me, I began to lose interest in life.
Back then, my parents would give me allowance based on my grades. Because of this, I had tremendous cash in my pocket even for kids at my age.
...I don't know if it I enjoyed this from the start or I was just lashing out my feelings and anger towards something else, but it was around that time that I began to get interested in model guns.
Shooting at cardboard boxes was fun and all. At least shooting an inanimate cardboard box still fell under morality. It could be deemed as relieving stress by shoving my anger towards a cardboard box.
But I quickly began to yearn to do something that would get me into deep shit.
So when I read the warning label on the model gun that read "Please do not shoot at people," I immediately wanted to start shooting at people. Why did I do something that people shouldn't do? That itself explained how primitive and childish I was at the time.
It was sort of a reactionary antipathy towards my parents who constantly bickered me to go to secondary school even when I have lost all interest in studying. If I hated it, all I had to do was say it straight to my parents that I hated studying. ...But as a little twerp that I am, I had no guts to go up against my parents.
I opened the door to my internal brutality by objecting my anger through shooting at kids younger than me.
Oh, what a thrill it was. The sweet sensation of what deep shit I'm doing with my own hands. Of course, I had nothing against the victims that I shot at. If there was no one around, that set the ground for my next victim.
I had no intention of hurting them. I felt joy at just hitting a person one or two rounds from far away. But there was this one girl who didn't realize anything even when I shot at her. It was probably because the pellet was striking where she had more clothes on or something. ...I began to get pissed so I started shooting her with more and more bullets until she realized she was getting shot at. It immediately escalated into peltering her with multiple rounds of pellets.
'I did an extremely good thing by studying really hard. So, I can also do a very bad thing on the same level to cancel that out. That creates an equilibrium balance.' That was the type of unbelievably self-centered mindset that went through me to justify my stupid action.
'I've been through all this shit and kept it all inside me. What I'm doing is my given right. So, a person who has no shit going through their lives like me are allowed to get shot and injured.'
...How selfish, conceited, and childish!
Fuck, all this anger is starting to weld up inside me towards myself as I say this from my mouth. If I was there at that time now, I would immediately jump and kick my own ass with enough strength to break several molars out of my mouth.
The incident became known escalated into what was known as a serial child assualt case. I had this ugly smirk as I listened to the principal warning the students about these incidents in his morning address.
In the pamphlet handed out by the PTA, it outlined that students should keep a sharp eye on their school routes. As time progressed, adults began to volunteer to do a neighborhood watch during after school and students were to walk home together in groups.
As the shit I was doing began to balloon into something larger, I began to remember the similar catharsis that I felt when my grades began to climb. You can say I was hooked in this 'game.' I didn't even for once think I was gonna get caught, nor did I have the intention of quitting it at a certain point either.
One fateful day.
...I saw this little girl alone in a narrow and dark street all by herself. A very little kid. ...Was she going to her friend's house, or was she going to the store to help on her chores? I didn't give a damn.
'It's all plastered everywhere in the school that kids shouldn't be outside by themselves. How careless of her, and she deserves it - it's all her fault.'
With the same selfish quibbling...I assaulted her.
She realized that she was being attacked as I shot several rounds into her back. It's obvious that a person would turn around and see if one was being attacked from the behind.
I was used to showering my victims with pellets so I continued to fire rounds at her even as she turned her head towards me.
A normal kid would run away screaming "ouch ouch!"
But her reaction was a first for me....
She was screaming at the top of her lungs, rolling on the ground back and forth as she covered one of her eyes...
That was when it hit me.
It struck her in the eye.
Until that exact moment, I did not for once think what would happen if these BB pellets strikes a person into their eyes. It easily penetrates a thick cardboard box...
In any case, the way she was hurting was not what I had expected. It was right then and there I finally realized that what I have been doing a horrific thing.
The little girl saw me, so I couldn't take her to the hospital as that would jeopardize me. I couldn't do anything....so I left the crying girl all by herself and ran away from the scene.
'Was the girl okay, I hope she didn't go blind...'
I didn't have the appetite to eat dinner as all these thoughts went through my head.
At home, I took a household medical book from the bookcase and read through how the eye functions. I read it to try to ease myself to what extent an injury to the eye will not cause permanent blindness. It was a vain act obviously as even if the little girl did not lose her sight, it was still a very brutal assault.
...That night, I couldn't sleep as I broke a high fever. The first one to hand down my punishment was not my parents, the school, or the police. ...It was my own body.
Early next morning....I woke my parents who were still in bed and confessed everything. My parents were at first in shock in disbelief, but once they placed the pieces together of my sudden interest in model guns and rebellious attitude, they realized the matter immediately.
My mom began to cry and my dad beat the shit out of me.
We didn't wait for dawn to break. I went with my parents to the nearest police station...and turned myself in."
The Reason to Move to HinamizawaEdit
I forgot how many years ago that was.
There was this village whose surroundings was very beautiful. At the time, there was this proposal to sink the village for a new dam project and they held this mass protest against it.
The same village lobbyists also had a nature sightseeing tour so that people from other areas can get a first-hand experience on nature. The village might sink underwater never to be seen again. So, I booked a tour on whim in order to get a glimpse on this wonderful nature that could forever be lost.
But when I got there, the place just took my breath away. The air was so clean and clear, and the surrounding nature was indeed very beautiful as they said it was. Since then, I was hooked in that place's awe-inspiring nature. ...I fell in love with the area so much that I was very glad when I learned that the dam project was put into indefinite hiatus.
The place that I went at the time is where I am building our new house.
There was this beautiful field blossoming with flowers. There were two cute little girls playing in that field. Both of them hand long straight hair and they were like angels. I guess they were neighbors/best friends or the like. I still remember how they looked. One was calm and a tad precocious for her age, where the other was a girl who showed innocence in her face. I'm sure both of them will grow up into a fine young lady.
The two were playing in the fields as if they were dancing. When I asked them if this was their usual playground, they replied that they were playing in hopes of a newcomer to move here to this village. Then I saw a sign that read "Lot For Sale." That's when I began to think that this place might be a great place to live.
Sure, there is nothing here and things might be a bit inconvenient compared to the city. But...I sincerely believe that if we are to start a new life together as a family again, this is the place that would be the best for us. Yes, there were a lot of things that happened back in the city...but the past is the past, it is best we move on. We learn from our mistakes, and let us rebuild our ideal family life in this village.
So I'm kinda hoping Keiichi, that you would grow to love the life in this village as I do.
If you like it here, then I'm happy too.
I'm also happy that our family relationship has been improving dramatically since we've moved here. Back in the city, we all were living in our own separate ways. ...So I am truly happy that we're able to rebuild it from scratch. Come to think of it, we've never had this much conversation before, have we?
Oh yeah, Keiichi,
Are there two angels with long hairs in your school? Their age...I'm certain that they are both much younger that you.
There's a girl who has short hair? Hmm...nope. I don't think that's it.
Why you ask?
Oh it's nothing. I just wanted to use them as models for my portraits. And make them wear cute costumes....ahem! B-basically, it's just for my artistic interest, nothing more. So if you happen to see them, let dad know 'kay? You'd better, all right-?!
kapow punch crash kyupi~n
Arg ouch gaf?!
"...............Soon ......tomorrow is going to be it."
"Hmm? ...............Ahh, you mean our death date?"
"............It ended up the same way this time too."
"I don't know about that. .........It's very similar, but there are some things that were different too. ......Keiichi, remembered what happened before too."
"......That's impossible. There's no way he could remember, no, there's no way he could know them."
"*giggle*.... The more you say it's absolutely impossible, ...the more it makes one think that this is really a miracle, you know?"
"It's all over now anyway."
"Is it really over, I wonder?"
"It will soon end. Everything, will end. ......That's right, when the cicadas cry."
....Is it all going to end anyway?
The more times you throw a die, the closer the total will get to the average.
When you throw a die 100 times, during the process, even if you get a miracle of 6s coming up continuously, it's still all average when you total everything up in the end.
...It's just something enclosed by a pre-established arrangement.
But, if you throw a die 100 times, the minimum and maximum number still ranges from 100 ~ 600.
Even though the more throws you make, the more likely the future will try to converge at one average value, the truth is, the more throws you make, the more possibilities for the future there will be.
If you throw the die 100 times, you'll get about 500 different futures.
Throw 1000 times, and you'll have 5000 different futures.
Won't there also be one ending among them where I would actually finish from this never ending dice game?
......The miracle that Keiichi showed me, it was something that opened my eyes and taught me that it's definitely not a waste of effort to continue throwing the dices.
Don't give in to something like an average value.
"............That view of your back sure is irritating. .....I can feel a ton of sorrow from it saying "it's no good again anyway", you know."
"......It's not just you, .......I'm also thinking that it's not going to work out this time anyway.... ...But you know, I won't give up until I have thrown the last die. Keiichi taught me that. Something's different this time. ......That's why I'll try to believe in that."
"...............Rika is, .............really a strong person."
"Yeah well, I'm way younger than you anyway."
".........Uun, ...mumble mumble......, .........Rikaa...?"
"You're still up at a time like this, ...*yaawn*..... you mustn't stay up so latee...."
"......I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep so I was just looking at the stars. I will sleep now."
"Please do that.......... ......Good night Rikaa......." "......Good night, Satoko."